Today for the LotPro Review Special Edition 03 we talk about the most likely of scenarios: The Ten New Cars to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse! The premise is simple. Your friends are now zombies and your old rust bucket just isn't big, fast, or dependable enough to ensure your survival. You pull into a random new car dealer and look for the keys of the following:
Chevrolet - Suburban
Ford - F-150
Jeep - Grand Cherokee
Honda - CR-V
Hyundai - Santa Fe
Kia - Sorento
Subaru - Outback
Toyota - Prius V
Volkswagen - Touareg
Chrysler - Town & Country
Running from Zombies, You Pull into Your Local...
Face it, if the suburbia turns into a warzone, what better car to face it in then a Suburban? Tall, big, able to take a pounding with lots of ground clearance. Your gas mileage will suck but nobodies stopping you from loading up the trunk. Creeping around in a near silent Volt might be considered, except you have to stop to plug it in.
Ford has plenty of anti-zombie cars to choose from and the Ford Escape is a great contender given the huge gas mileage and small size to navigate city streets. Still the F-150 has great gas mileage for a truck these days and gives you all that utility.
Another great place to find an alternative vehicle when the apocalypse comes, the Wranger deserves consideration given its tight package and legendary off road protection but go with the Grand Cherokee. The interior is nicer and a rag top just seems a poor choice against a hungry horde of brain eating zombies.
Choices are a little tighter for zombie warfare in a Honda dealership, but the CR-V seems your best bet for protection and being able to still turn around and run the other way should you find youself cut off on a tight city street.
While Hyundai has made a name for itself developing attractive and stylish cars with great MPG, they have been a bit slow on the anti-zombie weapon as of late. Still the Santa Fe also makes a good mix of fuel economy, space, and enough ground clearance that the first zombie to fall won't stop you in your tracks.
While the Kia Soul is a hip young car, some how the dancing hampsters seemed doomed in a Kia Soul if the zombies come. Take the Sorento and run.
Small vehicles with AWD seems a mixed bag in a zombie war, but the Outback is a suprisingly good pick. Ground clearance, decent space, and all the time AWD. The WRX would be an interesting choice but you better outrun the horde, because you'll be unable to drive through it with one.
Toyota has plenty of vehicles to wage war against zombies in, from trucks to SUVs, to AWD minivans. But grabbing a Prius V and trying to stay ahead of the mob with fuel economy might not be a bad pick.
It's unclear how German engineering will stand up to the trials of a zombie horde but with the Tiguan and Touareg both fairly close in MPG, best go with the larger and more comfortable Touareg.
Face it, if you stop at a Chrysler dealership, just pray there is an attached Dodge or Jeep dealership with it, because a Town & Country seems a terrible way to die.
Next week we return with regular programming! Cya then.